Wading in the riptides

I sank into your ocean eyes.

And I don't mean the surface blue.

There is so much more than what meets the eye.

So much more to me and you.

It's the way I lose my breath.

Drowning.

The way I see myself.

Reflection.

The way I feel the waves.

Wading.

The way you pull me under.

Riptides.

The way I long for a world I never knew.

I sank into your ocean eyes.

I feel light as a feather yet anchored firm.

I was drifting for so long just searching, yearning, undeserving.

Until you pulled me under with your magnetic storm.

The depths in which you took my soul.

To places, I never thought existed, consisted, coexisted.

I find myself longing for the familiarity you brought me.

I sank into your ocean eyes.

And I found the heart of the ocean that was tossed away.

A whole new world tumbling me sideways.

I thought after your first love dies that was the end of the line.

There aren't any second chances, redos, or one more times.

I thought that was it and now I move through the motions to stay above the waterline.

But then...

I sank into your ocean eyes.

I thought how is that possible?

When I've never even looked into your eyes?

I thought maybe I'm projecting the reflection I want to see.

A mirage created from the making of my own memory.

I thought maybe just maybe I was imagining the depths of these feelings.

But yet...

I still sank into the depths of our conversations.

The lightheartedness of your understanding tone.

The familiarity of your voice.

Without even realizing it I kept sinking deeper and deeper.

Until...

I was surrounded by impenetrable darkness. Different from the darkness I knew but darkness is still darkness in light of the view.

I began to feel afraid and worry I wondered too deep.

Mistrustful of the light that could swallow me whole.

Luring me in with the illusion that it would help light up my way.

So I waded.

After some time a thought crossed my curious mind.

What if we both were afraid of the light?

So close with our darkness that trusting the light seemed inexplicable.

Maybe if we take this chance it will be everything we were looking for in each other?

But as I sit here contemplating, sinking, wading.

I realize I must decide.

Should I let myself sink into your ocean eyes?

Written by Kristina Darrah

#poem #love #scaredtoloveandbeloved #wadingintheriptides