Daddy's little tomboy

My dad and I have always been super close. I may not be his only daughter but I am by far his favorite. Now, if you ask him who his favorite daughter is he may tell you Bailey (his adopted fur baby) but that's only because he doesn't want to hurt my sibling's feelings. Growing up I wasn't daddy's little girl. I was more like daddy's little boy because I was the biggest tomboy and my dad had all girls so I strived to be his long lost son. It was my mission to outdo all of the other boys and be the best at any sport I played. That was something that made my dad proud of me so I did everything I could do to be the best and shine the brightest.

My dad has always been apart of my life and we've had our daddy-daughter dates and I enjoy the time we spend away from my other siblings so I can have my dad's full attention.

I'm 28 now and every birthday I realize that not only am I a year older but so is my dad. As I grow older so does he and I become terrified of the thought of losing my dad one day. He's not only my dad but also my mentor, my confidant. The person I go to when I need advice about work or how to handle my finances or just being an adult in general. My dad is my rock and I don't know what I would do without him.

One day I started to notice something off about my dad though. I couldn't put my finger on it but it was almost like that time when I was 6 and my dad played Santa Clause that year to give out presents and the moment I laid eyes on 'Santas' bright blue eyes I knew that wasn't Santa. I had this strong gut feeling that was my dad. When I was older my mom told me the story of when my dad played Santa that year and it was his first and last time because his eyebrows would fall off and he just made inappropriate jokes the whole time. Even though that happened when I was younger it kept with me all these years and I was finally vindicated. I mean my dad has always told me to listen to my instincts. Well, lately I've been getting this feeling that there is something off with my dad. He doesn't talk about work anymore and I only see him around the house or at family events. Everyone seems to be acting as they always would but I still have this tugging feeling in my gut that something is off.

At one of our family BBQs, this feeling kept gnawing at me to the point it was all I could think about and I knew that the only way to get rid of this is dreadful feeling was to attach a name to it. While my family was around talking, being loud, and just the normal BBQ stuff, a voice spoke to me. Now, this would normally freak someone out but I've heard this voice periodically throughout my life and I always felt like it was my instincts speaking to me. Well, this time it whispered something that made my eyes go wide and I stopped breathing for a bit.

"You're dad is dead."

What?! How?! No this can't be right. I know my voice has never steered me wrong before but this doesn't make any sense. How can he be dead he's standing right here and my whole family can see him and talk to him.

Then my dad said something that made me so worried and scared. He said he was going to be taking grandma on Friday and frantically I spoke out and asked: "Grandma's going to die?". My dad gave me a questionable look and with tears in my eyes I looked at him feeling like I was just seeing him for the first time and with a shaky voice I said, "you're dead".

Everyone stopped and all I heard was my older sister Brittney gasp "who told her?“.

I felt something was happening and had this feeling of panic rise in my throat. The voice in my head yelled at me to write down today's date so I grabbed a pen and paper without question feeling the urgency and wrote 4-28-2020.

Before I could get my bearings the world started to tilt and before I could realize what was happening I was in a dugout looking down at a little girl in a softball uniform and cleats that looked eerily like me when I was younger. I felt a deep sense of pride and love looking at my younger self and had this urge to reach out and hug her. Right when I reached for her the world started to spin again and this time I was in a backyard looking at the trees with a sense of nostalgia creeping in. Then the world spun again and this time I was walking into a bar. It was in the middle of the day and I had a sense of needing to take a break. I walked to the hostess to be seated and for some reason, I thought I saw her body go rigid. She asked me to follow her and she led me through a door and down some stairs to what looked like the cellar. Confused, I turned around to hear another lady stomp in waiving a finger at me and asked me what the hell I thought I was doing! She started to freak out and asked me why I was there and what if the 'red group' came because of the power surges. She looked straight at me and said: "ghosts shouldn't be walking around". Surprised I interrupted her rantings and I exclaimed, " what do you mean ghosts?" She stopped speaking maybe even breathing all of a sudden and her face went from tight with anger to loose with concern.

"You don't know? No ones told you yet?"

"You're dead."

Shock. Fear. Sadness. A realization.

I was hit by a tsunami of emotions and I had no control over my body or my reactions. A wave of sadness hit me taking me to my knees where I pushed my forehead to the floor trying to feel a sense of control. I started having flashbacks of the flashbacks from earlier and everything started to make sense and the story began to fill in the blank spaces way too fast. Those were memories and I'm not even sure they were mine. I was crying so hard I started to throw up uncontrollably and somehow I could sense the two women's sadness for me but before I could turn to them... I woke up.

I woke up crying and my chest was tight. I felt a deep sadness and concern. I was still feeling the emotions of the two women in my dream.

I looked at my phone and it was 4:28 am 4-29-2020.

-Dreamt and written by Kristina Darrah

#daddyslittlegirl #daddyslittletomboy #death #nightmare #shortstory